


loyal

by wirewrappedlily



Series: Heliotrope [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Author is a madwoman, Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, M/M, Minor Angst, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Dancing, accidental magic, don't ask just read it, more of the flower shop/tattoo parlour au no one asked for, no beta we die like men, shadow world politics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:46:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23581063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wirewrappedlily/pseuds/wirewrappedlily
Summary: "I don't want to step on your feet."Magnus shrugged fluidly, the two of them still suspended in the waltz pose, and he grinned, "Ah, so you're catching on to my ulterior motive. Leveraging you for footrubs should you prove to be truly bad at this."
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Maryse Lightwood, Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood & Madzie, Magnus Bane & Maryse Lightwood, Magnus Bane & Ragnor Fell & Catarina Loss, Magnus Bane & Raphael Santiago, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, past Magnus Bane/Camille Belcourt - Relationship
Series: Heliotrope [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1692241
Comments: 7
Kudos: 127





	loyal

**Author's Note:**

> No, I do not know what the fuck is wrong with me. I was supposed to just have that oneshot. And now, I may have another fic in this 'verse after this if I actually get around to figuring out what is in my head. 
> 
> Forgive me, darlings. And yes, this is still all Katka's fault.

If Magnus Bane were being completely honest with himself, he would, perhaps, admit that this particular road to Alexander Lightwood's recovery was paved with less than the purest intentions. 

The courtship between them had been the most terrifying compound between being achingly slow, and all at once; and while Magnus was more than happy, any and every day of the week, to simply sit in the space beside Alexander--a space that he seemed to somehow fit perfectly--he truly wanted to make sure that in wooing this particular Nephilim, he did it to the absolute best of his ability. 

So, when the opportunity presented itself--in the form of Isabelle coming over for Magnus to do her make-up and Alec to weave flowers and braids into her hair before she go dancing--Magnus leapt at the chance to see if, perhaps, he could offer Alexander a chance at finding a new way to workout that would safely avoid any ghosts of the trauma that had taken Alec from the world of Shadowhunting. 

"Dancing," Magnus began, taking Alec's hand in the middle of the space he'd cleared in the living room with a wave of his hand, "is a great many things, to a great many people. But the way I like to look at it," Alec straightened his spine, nerves bringing him back to being a soldier; but Magnus had learned, in the month they'd been together, that Alec's broad shoulders would melt under the caress of his hand and his tension would recede so long as Magnus was confident enough, "is that, with the right partner, dancing is that breath, just before lips touch." 

Alec's unfairly long eyelashes fluttered as Magnus stroked one hand over his shoulders, the other letting go of Alec's so that he could tease his thumb along the full line of Alec's lower lip until Alec couldn't stop himself from giving Magnus that tiny smile that was just for him. 

The blush on Alec's cheeks was delicious, and Alec ducked his head slightly, taking a slow breath. "And we know we do _that_ very well." Magnus teased, grinning when Alec huffed. He sobered, though, when Alec's smile proved unable to stay. "What are you worried about?" 

"I...You dance like you were made for it. I don't want..." Alec trailed off, his brow furrowed in the way that told Magnus that he didn't know how to put to words what it was he was feeling. Magnus waited, resting his hand over Alec's heart as he did. Alec licked his lips, his shoulders telegraphing how much he was steeling himself to give voice to what it was bothering him, "I don't want to disappoint you." 

"You and I are partners, Alexander. In every way that matters. We know we fit. There's nothing that will change that." Magnus stamped viciously on the tiny voice within him that scoffed at that assertion; that told him that just because Alec had hung on longer and through more than anyone else had in the past, it did not mean that Alec wouldn't eventually leave. "This," Magnus took Alec's hand again, guiding him gently into a proper waltz stance, "is simply a new facet of that, if you want it to be." 

Alec met his eyes, and Magnus had realized when Alec had started doing it more, that Alec had avoided meeting his eyes in the beginning at least in part because when their gazes met, it was as difficult for Alec to draw his eyes away as it was for Magnus, and Alec hadn't wanted to scare Magnus away. "I don't want to step on your feet." 

Magnus shrugged fluidly, the two of them still suspended in the waltz pose, and he grinned, "Ah, so you're catching on to my ulterior motive. Leveraging you for footrubs should you prove to be truly bad at this." 

Alec snorted, shooting him a look, "Mm, because you need to give me excuses to put my hands on you." 

Tightening the arm he had around Alec in a teasing little pull, Magnus let himself go just a touch more serious. "Sometimes I think I do. You seem to prefer having excuses to touch me, I think." 

Alec's ears were burning now with his cheeks, and he looked down, the scant space between them just enough that his eyes could catch on Magnus's favourite necklace; the one he wore most. 

"To be clear," Magnus whispered at last, "I want your touches. I welcome them, Alexander." 

Alec let out a tiny sound of acknowledgement, and Magnus briefly reconsidered his mental list of things that made Magnus very angry about Alec's childhood; debating, for the barest moment, whether starving Alec for affection should go below or above belittling him into compliancy. "Show me...show me how to dance." 

Magnus hummed gently, waiting until Alec looked back up at him to lean in, his lips skimming along Alec's cheek until they'd reached his ear. "Walk." Magnus ordered on a breath, and Alec shuddered into him for it. 

Alec barely shifted his feet, but Magnus easily followed. He knew it was an act of bravery for Alec to have asked him to show him how to dance. Knew that Alec took missteps as signs of abject personal failure: a message that Magnus knew had been drilled into him over and over through the years. Alec pulled into himself to learn new things: he'd read through half of Magnus's magical library before they'd been called to save Madzie, and Magnus had had no idea until he'd thought to ask how Alec had known not to shoot the warlock that had kidnapped her until after she'd stepped out of the spell circle. 

"Just walk." Magnus whispered again, urging Alec on. This time, the step was a little less hesitant, and Magnus moved just as easily with it--an object lesson that being the lead wasn't simply about trusting the leader; it was also trusting the follow to take the cues given to them. Alec kept walking a little ways, then met Magnus's eyes with his tiny smile in place, before taking a few steps backwards as well, Magnus laughing that Alec had come to the conclusion himself. "Dancing can just be walking with fancy bits thrown in." 

Alec scoffed, rolling his eyes at that. "That is not at all what I would say about your dancing, Magnus." 

"Do you trust me?" 

"With my life." Alec answered immediately, the arm he had around Magnus drawing him in, and Magnus wasn't sure that Alec was aware that even in doing that, their movements together hadn't hitched. 

"Then when I tell you that you're doing beautifully, will you believe me?" 

Alec wrinkled his nose, his mouth curling into a teasing frown, because Magnus had made it very clear that Alec refusing to believe the praises Magnus sung about him was not going to stand in their household. 

"Because, darling," Magnus beamed at Alec, making damn sure he had his gaze, even as they kept moving, "you are doing _magnificently_ , and I'm more than a little glad you largely ignored Isabelle's attempts to take you clubbing, because you would have been swept up by someone else before I could ever get to you." 

Alec snorted, but the glint in his eyes--the tiniest shadow of daring--had Magnus's chest bursting with joy even as he let Alec sweep them in a turn as graceful as any he'd seen made. Magnus couldn't help himself in the face of that little display, yanking Alec in by the collar and kissing him soundly, even if that stopped their little dance. 

Kissing Alexander Gideon Lightwood was unlike anything Magnus had ever experienced, in over four hundred years. While Alec was _new_ , he was also either a kissing savant, or he had been made specially for Magnus in some strange and miraculous laboratory. His enthusiasm for kissing Magnus was epic, and Magnus delighted in it with an answering giddiness he had thought himself incapable of: too alone to have experienced it in his youth, then too old and weary to seem to manage it. But kissing Alec was like sliding into a raging current, getting overtaken and overwhelmed by the act of it until they were breathless enough to say they'd nearly drowned. Magnus had felt love and lust for others before Alec--but there was something to them that went much, much deeper than Magnus had ever heard any words, in any language, to explain. 

Alec chuckled breathlessly when they finally broke apart, one hand bunched the back of Magnus's shirt, the other woven in Magnus's hair; his palm cradling Magnus's head with all the care in the world. "I thought you said it was the breath before the kiss." He teased, and he was close enough that the tip of his nose traced a barely-there touch along the line of Magnus's as he glanced down to get a look at the kiss-swollen mess he'd carried Magnus off into. 

"I would make the joke that I think that's quite enough breathing for the day, but I have to ask first: are you still worried, or would you want to do this again?" Magnus's hands flexed where he'd dropped them to Alec's hips, the grip of them in Magnus's hands less an anchor than it was a temptation. 

Alec licked his lips, still breathless enough to be gratifying as his hazel eyes tracked around the space in which they'd been moving so easily together. "Yes. Teach me to dance, Magnus. I want to dance with you." 

~

It hadn't really been purposeful, but when Jace Wayland had moved out of Magnus's loft once Robert Lightwood had been imprisoned by his now-ex wife and daughter, Jace had somehow managed to convince Alec not to move with him, and though their romance had been only a few weeks old at that point, Magnus had found himself in domestic bliss he had not ever thought himself capable of. 

Three months into the shift without Jace, Magnus portalled into his own foyer, shrugging his jacket from his shoulders as he stepped through. 

"I'm home!" Magnus called, though he'd tailored his wards to give a soft chime whenever anyone was allowed through. It had been Jace to notice that Alec had an issue with the unexpected sounds of someone else. Magnus's doors didn't creak, and Jace had come home one too many times when Alec was alone in the loft to find that Alec had fallen into a flashback of the night he'd nearly been killed as soon as Jace made a noise from within the apartment. 

When silence greeted Magnus, his magic pulsed in agitation in the wake of his growing anxiety about what he was about to find. Alec was home: his keys were in their usual spot, and Magnus's wards confirmed it. But for Alec not to respond usually meant that Alec was having an episode, and Magnus would find him crumpled in on himself, scared out of his mind, somewhere in the loft. 

It was a sticking point to their relationship: Alec's belief that Magnus should not have to deal with this. Magnus asserted that the only way in which he should not have to deal with Alec's trauma is if the trauma had never happened in the first place, but Alec still could not stand taking up Magnus's time with it, as if Magnus had anything better to do than to help Alec in every way he could. 

The homes of warlocks, when they spent enough time in them, usually soaked a bit of the warlock's magic into them. It wasn't uncommon for small magic to simply happen around the house without the warlock actually willing it so. Magnus's loft and Magnus's magic had both imprinted on Alec in a way that Magnus knew he ought to be concerned about. So when Magnus stepped further into the foyer, ears pricked, it wasn't quite strange to be able to feel the tiny pull of magic that the loft was using to provide Alec with something he needed, and Magnus followed that pull as if it were a glowing neon sign pointing the way. 

In the vase in the living room, Alexander had replaced the bouquet of forget-me-nots with, if Magnus wasn't mistaken, irises. It was a sign that Alec had gotten home and gone about at least some things as-normal, but Magnus could still feel the pull of the magic of the loft, and he was beginning to worry what the hell it was that Alec needed that could be costing so little magic, but be pulling for so long. 

Magnus only briefly hesitated at Alec's bedroom door, his concern winning out over reticence on intruding on Alec's privacy. As he carefully palmed it open, Magnus could see that Alec was, at least, not crumpled in on himself in a defensible corner somewhere. Alec was stretched out over his neatly made bed, and were it not for the tear tracks on his cheeks, Magnus would have thought he was just napping. Alec had a pair of headphones on, his phone clutched in his hand, and Magnus watched as the screen flashed on, showing the dead battery icon, just as the magic of the loft pulsed slightly again. 

It wasn't difficult to figure out what the magic was doing, now, though it was not something Magnus had ever heard of happening before. Electronics and magic didn't usually mix, but if Magnus wasn't mistaken, his loft was keeping Alec's dead battery from stopping whatever Alec had been listening to. 

Before he could think enough to stop it, Magnus's magic had reached for Alec, easing around him, and the tight clench of Alec's fist on his phone loosened as if the tightness that Alec seemed to always carry had gone lax under the touch of Magnus's magic. Hazel eyes flickered open hazily, and Alec smiled his small smile at seeing Magnus at his bedroom door. He reached for Magnus, then seemed to realize he was still under his headphones and half-batted them off, shifting on the bed as Magnus drew closer until there was more than enough room for Magnus to be able to lay down beside him. 

"Hi," Magnus breathed, taking Alec's hand and leaning over to press a kiss to his forehead. 

"Hi." Alec replied, and though his tone was the definition of contentment, his voice betrayed that he'd been crying enough that he winced. "How was work?" 

Magnus sat in the space Alec had made for him, and urged Alec to shift so that he could wrap his arms around Magnus's waist, laying his head on his thigh so that Magnus could play with his hair. "You're going to laugh," Magnus told him, "some hipster yogi came in asking for an appointment to tattoo 'namaste' on his dick." Magnus drew a vertical line over his thigh where Alec could see it in indication of how it'd been requested to be written. Alec squawked, caught between the pain of the idea of a dick-tattoo, and abject and disbelieving hysteria. "Dot was on today. Apparently, he wants about a size seventy-two font, all caps, and in her estimation it would fit." 

Alec loosened the hold around his waist enough to turn his head and give Magnus the single most horrified and disbelieving look Magnus had ever seen. 

"So, yeah. That was my day. Out of curiosity, the flowers are irises, right?" 

"Mm-hm. Royalty, faith, and valour." Alec recited, laying his head back down for Magnus to continue his ministrations to the tumult of waves. "You tattooed irises onto someone like two weeks ago, though, wasn't it?" 

"Probably, but if I'm being honest, my darling, I have been so inundated with flower requests that they're beginning to blur." Magnus was trying to learn the language of flowers that Alec spoke, and to learn to recognize the ones that meant the things he would want to say to Alec, but he found himself very distracted in his studies. 

"Hmm, I feel like there's an implication that I have anything to do with this, which is patently untrue." Alec murmured. 

"You have everything to do with it, Alexander." Magnus laughed, "And your eyebrows can shut up about their disbelief." 

Alec grunted, prodding Magnus in the thigh, "Then explain, because how the fuck would I have anything to do with this? You are the artist." 

"Because my magic likes you." Magnus blurted, and winced, half-bracing for the blow that Alec would be disturbed by that. Alec just smiled, nuzzling into him, and Magnus felt like his chest had been butterflied open. 

"I like your magic, so that's good. But that doesn't really explain why." 

Magnus growled slightly, frowning to himself, and Alec looked up at him again; features as open and patient as they had been the first time Magnus had truly chosen to use his powers in front of him. "Because my magic likes you, it...pushes into the flowers. All the tattoos I give are a little magic, but the ones that I give people of the flowers you've told me about and helped me to choose? Those ones are..." 

"Extra?" Alec supplied, then smirked, "Izzy would say that everything about you is extra, Magnus." 

Scoffing at the cheek, Magnus shook his head, falling back to contemplation as Alec shifted, sitting up and sliding to slump beside Magnus, taking his hand to play with his rings (and if Magnus had started wearing fidget spinner rings in an attempt to keep Alec from worrying at his own hands, no one could prove anything). "It's...from the first time we met, it's like being near you...steadies me. My magic. With the amount of power I have, I have to have an output," Alec nodded his understanding, having seen Magnus accidentally shatter lightbulbs in the loft when he got too agitated, "but even with the magic I use for the tattoos regularly, my magic is jumpy. Irritable. I haven't ever used enough to feel like it actually all fits under my skin." 

Alec raised Magnus's hand to his lips, and the reminder that Alec had held so steady under the weight of knowing about his power made Magnus want to stop time, because if he couldn't keep Alec, then he needed to make damn sure that he would remember this for the rest of his immortal life. "I feel better when you're around, too." Alec told him, a confession for a confession. "Safer. And here...even when you're not here, I can feel the traces left behind. It makes me feel protected. It did when you warded the old apartment, too. I...I hated it there. But I could feel your magic, and that meant I could sleep without having to be scared, every time, of what would be waiting for me when I closed my eyes." 

Magnus used the hand still cradled under Alec's chin to tip him into a kiss, every piece of Magnus aching with how much he cherished Alec. 

When they parted, Alec stealing fleeting and desperate pecks from his lips, as if he couldn't stop, Magnus cradled Alec to rest his head against Magnus's shoulder, the mad beat of Magnus's heart giving away just how wholly Alec was adored, Magnus knew. 

"A group of Shadowhunters came by the shop today," The steadiness of Alec's voice was a lie; his hands curling in Magnus's shirt, "they...they didn't stay long." 

They didn't have to. What had happened to put Alec under his headphones, sobbing through a panic attack, could have been as simple as having seen the Shadowhunters in the safe haven Alec had found for himself; but Magnus had the sneaking suspicion that something had been said to drive Alec there as well. 

Alec saw some of his former colleagues regularly: Isabelle's attempts to emulate her brother's inroads into making peace with the New York Downworlders a little stuttering until Alec had offered to act as an ambassador when one was needed. That act had brought a new confidence to Alec's gait that Magnus hadn't gotten to see before, but could only imagine was how Alec used to carry himself regularly. He was born to lead; and despite what his parents, and particularly his father, had drilled into him about his supposed shortcomings, Magnus could tell that, in another life, Alec could have gone far enough to change the entire Shadow World. 

Magnus pulled his fingers through Alec's hair, rubbing gently at the tension in his scalp. "You got home safe?" 

Alec nodded into his chest, "I was okay until I ran out of things to get done." Alec's voice was edging towards the high of fear and shame, "I got home. I put the irises in the vase. I checked food and water for the cats." Alec sucked in a breath, "And then I couldn't--" 

There was no real end to that sentence. Magnus had been witness to and victim of enough panic attacks to know that at some point, when autopilot had nothing left to do on the list of routines that were supposed to keep the fear at bay, that it was all you could do to fight through the pain of breathing in order to keep doing it. 

Magnus pressed kisses to Alec's forehead, and held his hand, just breathing as steadily and as slowly as he could. "I put on...that playlist you made. The slow songs? I wanted to make myself practice--" 

"Ah! Without me?!" Magnus's scandalized tease fell to whispered laughing when Alec grinned reluctantly, shifting up so that he could look properly at Magnus. They'd half-slid further down the bed, Magnus almost fully reclined, and Magnus decided to fix that, twitching his fingers to get Alec's blankets over them both, sliding to lay down completely and open his arms for Alec to snuggle into. "You're just trying to get better than me at dancing. I know how competitive you are." 

Alec was chuckling at him as they settled under the blankets, letting themselves wrap around each other just a little more. "I wouldn't worry your gorgeous head about it, Magnus. It's not like I was born with the grace you were. I always feel like some lumbering oaf--"

"Oh, my darling, you have no proper concept of how you move at all." Magnus purred. Alec rubbed his thumb back and forth along Magnus's cheekbone, stealing a soft kiss. "I mean it, Alexander. You do not lumber. You move like the last glimpse of a good dream before a long day." Alec gave him a look, lips pressing together to fight his smile, and Magnus laughed, "You're either the pillar of strength that will get me through hell, or you're the ghost of a wish slipping through my fingers to the sunlight." 

Alec's eyes softened, all teasing or pretense put aside. Magnus kissed him slowly for that look, because there was so much love in it that Magnus couldn't bear it. 

The line of them pressed together laying down felt the same as it did when they were dancing. They hadn't progressed to having sex yet in their relationship: Alec kept his bedroom, and they only ended up in the same bed usually on days when Alec woke up at the point of panic attack. 

Arguing about it every step of the way, Magnus would call his receptionist for the day and have Maia or Dot cancel his appointments, then call the owner of the flower shop that Alec worked in, Adaline, and let her know that Alec wouldn't be making it in for his shift. Maia would send takeaway, usually Thai food, around lunch time for them, with a stern order to take care of his Nephilim; Dot would deliver coffee and pastries from their favourite café herself and tell Alec outrageous stories about Magnus that were usually true; and either way, Adaline would send a yellow amaryllis with the care-package. 

They'd had only a handful of days like that, thankfully. 

Through all the time they spent together, Magnus knew that Alec had had his own agenda with Magnus's own demons; the tiny, every day magic that Magnus had been supressing for years coaxed out the more Alec reassured Magnus that he truly wasn't scare of Magnus's power. Alec actually delighted in watching Magnus use his magic, just as much as Magnus's magic delighted in being used. They had come far enough now, that in kissing Alec, Magnus was comfortable letting his power layer another protection spell over the Nephilim, weaving into the countless others that Magnus had put into place. 

Alec shuddered as the magic settled, breaking from the kiss to look at Magnus, eyes hooded and cheeks red with pleasure that Magnus had to assume wasn't just from the kiss. 

Slumping back onto the bed, Alec panted, reaching for his hand. "I know...I should be used to you kissing spells into me--but a little warning, next time?" Alec was smiling around his scolding, and he lifted Magnus's hand to his lips. He steeled himself visibly then, pulling Magnus back into him, but stopping Magnus from diving into another kiss, the seriousness of his expression not in the least detracting from the flush of arousal still high. "I know...it's fast. And please don't say it back, but...I love you, Magnus." 

Alec had said that to him in a thousand different blooms, but neither of them had spoken those words. Magnus felt himself _melt_ , unable and unwilling to stop his smile as he ran his fingers into Alec's hair again, "I'm sorry, Alexander. You made a request and I can't fulfill it. I love you, too." 

Alec let out a chirp of a laugh, cut off in favour of kissing, and Magnus's magic sang under his skin, the flutter of it sparking out of him uncontrollably in his happiness. Magnus had only a split second of concern and fear about his power before Alec was moaning into his mouth, pulling him in tighter as the fizzle and pop danced through his clothes and across his skin. 

"Alec," Magnus panted when Alec dropped his forehead against Magnus's collarbone, his fingers still clenched in Magnus's shirt as the magic danced over him. "Fuck, Alexander, are you okay?" 

"I...am trying really hard to calm down." Alec managed. "Your magic, Magnus... _fuck_ , your magic feels so good." 

The admission had a curl of a whine to it, lustful and needy. "What do you need?" 

Alec held up a finger, not moving his head from Magnus's shoulder still. "No. You do not get to make me come in my pants like a teenager, Magnus. You might be the only person I've ever kissed, but I am too old to start that shit now, I _refuse_." 

Magnus didn't try to help his laughter, and Alec nuzzled into him, clearly pleased that he made Magnus laugh. "I've...I've never heard someone tell me that my magic felt good at all, let alone..." He trailed off, and Alec pulled back to look at him; pupils blown and lips swollen red. 

"I can't--There's no good way to explain how it feels. It just feels like _you_." Alec was making a valiant attempt at evening out his voice from the strangled husk it had dropped into, but Magnus found himself instantly aching to never listen to anything else. 

Their next kiss was soft and too short for either of their tastes, but Magnus welcomed the chance to coax Alec into laying nearly on top of him as he cooled down. 

In this position, Magnus was reconsidering the validity of the decision not to get Alec a weighted blanket. The easy spread of Alec on top of him was grounding and comforting. But, Alec had been raised as a weapon for his people and a shield for his siblings, and like this Magnus could tell that it gave Alec something, to be the one covering Magnus, rather than having Magnus covering him. 

"What would you say to a movie, and Greek for dinner?" Magnus offered when Alec's pounding heart had about returned to its regular beat. 

After what had happened that day, Magnus knew Alec would not want anything even remotely connected to the Shadow World, though normally Alec would blatantly encourage him to select the most ridiculous title he could think of that was in any way connected to the Shadow World so that they could both openly mock it. 

"Comedy?" 

"Pick something you won't mind us kissing through." 

~

It wasn't really a surprise when the fight finally happened. 

As time progressed in their relationship, Magnus's fear of Alec leaving had had him pulling back; and Alec had taken it to mean that Magnus was boring of Alec, playing along Alec's insecurity that Magnus--colourful and quietly bold Magnus--would find the Alec's more reserved nature lacking. 

For all they communicated; for all they had come to know each other better than anyone had bothered to before, neither of them could quite express themselves in a way that would chase the other's fears away. 

Alec had stormed out of the apartment when Magnus had snapped at him about not having the experience in a relationship to know that theirs was dangerously close, dangerously fast; and Magnus had proceeded to drink as much malt liquor as he could because the dejection was stronger than the good sense that Alec lived with him, and would more than likely come back to find him like that. 

An hour later, when someone crossed through the wards and he heard the tinkle of the chime, the self-loathing had Magnus half-considering the very dumb, drunken idea that he should probably crawl away from Alec and hide. 

"You, Magnus Bane, are an idiot." Catarina Loss told him flatly. "But you're a lucky idiot, I'll give you that." 

"Wh-What are you...? Why are you here?" Magnus squinted at her, the slow tilt of the room telling him that he'd grabbed the wrong bottle at some point and had switched from bourbon to tequila. 

"Because Alec showed up at Jace's place, and Jace texted Isabelle, who phoned Dot, who then called me, because apparently we have a phone-tree now." Catarina sighed, sitting on the chair that would allow her to look at Magnus where he was slumped half behind his fichus, next to his drinks cart. 

"I fucked...I fucked it up." 

"No, you panicked." Catarina contradicted sternly. "Because you are an idiot." 

"Same thing." Magnus slurred assertively, and went to raise the latest bottle to his lips--only to find that he couldn't. Concentrating for a moment, Magnus made sure he was actually trying to move his hand, scowl-pouting at the bottle when it refused to budge before turning that face on Catarina. 

"Not if you don't want it to be." Catarina leaned back in her chair with a small smirk, because Magnus should have felt the magic that had settled into the bottle in his hand and every one on the drink cart beside him, effectively gluing them all in place. "Alec is under the impression that you've grown bored--" 

"I know." Magnus sighed, deciding to lean back like Catarina was. Only, the pot for the fichus was round and polished, so that when the material of his jacket connected with it, he was not leaning; he was sliding into a heap on the floor. 

Catarina bit back her laughter visibly, taking a deep breath to compose herself back to the stern lecturer she had come to be. "And you also know that that boy would do literally anything for you. So, he's talking about moving out because he thinks you don't want him here." 

"It was...it was a bad idea. Us...I like it too much." 

"What makes it too much, Magnus?" 

Magnus sighed into his hardwood floor, "He's gonna leave. Even if...even if he doesn't--he will." 

Catarina picked herself off the chair she'd been sitting on, crouching to half-lift Magnus off the floor to prop him in a sitting position, her hands on his cheeks and her eyes burning into his. "Are you telling me now, that this is the love that you would choose to have forever?" 

Magnus remembered the first time Catarina had asked him this. Camille Belcourt had left him devastated, and it had taken Catarina and Ragnor longer than any of them liked to pick him up out of the slump that had left him in. That question had been the turning point: cutting through the fog of self-recrimination better than anything else. Camille had wanted him for his power; had been clear on that--and when Magnus had proven to be less than willing to use his power to hurt others, Camille had done everything in her power to make clear to him that _he_ was unlovable; that his power was his only saving grace. 

He'd known, when Catarina asked the question, that while he had loved her, Camille was not the love he would want to have forever. And here and now, Magnus had the answer once again. "Yes." 

Catarina nodded, her face giving nothing away as she pulled him into a hug. "Then you need to hold onto him, Magnus. Not push him away." 

"It--When it happens..." 

"You know that loving him enough to want to keep him forever is not going to fade, so would it hurt you any less to love him from afar, and watch it happen anyway?" 

"No." Magnus breathed, slumping in their hug with that admission. 

Catarina eased him out of her embrace, taking his arms and helping him to stand, letting him lean on her as they shuffled towards his bedroom. "Then clean yourself up, sleep this off, and talk to Alec about this, Magnus. He should know that it's not that you're getting bored of him; it's that you think you never will." 

"That'll get rid of him for sure." Magnus didn't have to actually see Catarina give him a Look, he could _feel_ it.

"If Alec Lightwood runs at the news that you want him forever, I'll eat my favourite pair of heels." 

The next morning, Magnus woke to a text from Adaline telling him that she had given Alec the day off, and a text from Maia that she'd gone ahead and canceled his appointments for the day. 

Magnus's magic was snapping at his control of it; his emotions roiling it into a storm that he didn't dare to face, even to banish his hangover. Groaning, Magnus huddled under his blankets for a long time, the debate raging within him as to what the consequences could be to telling Alec what was really wrong. 

When his wards chimed, Magnus half-hoped it was Jace, come to kill him for hurting his brother, but Magnus knew Jace well enough to know that if Jace had come to kill him, he would not be moving with the stealth of his training, and whoever had crossed the wards moved through the loft on silent steps. 

Catarina had left Magnus's bedroom door open, and when Magnus saw Alec lingering in it, his heart turned painfully in his chest. "Hi." 

"Hi." Alec answered, looking about as rough as Magnus felt. Magnus's magic prickled, wanting to reach out to Alec and ease him somehow. 

Magnus felt his tears leak over, and Alec was across the room as soon as Magnus reached towards him. "I'm sorry." Magnus breathed. 

"I'm sorry, too." Alec whispered back. He held Magnus too loosely to keep Magnus there if Magnus wanted to pull away, as if he wasn't sure, even with Magnus falling into his arms, if the embrace was really welcome. 

"I've been reliably informed that I'm an idiot." Magnus ached to hear Alec laugh, but his hope was dashed. 

"Are we...are we too different?" Alec asked, sounding like he was facing a firing squad. 

"Alexander, I need you to listen to me." Magnus couldn't force himself to pull out of Alec's arms in order to look at him properly, so he made do by tangling his fingers in Alec's hair. "I am not tired or bored of you. I am...so completely petrified."

"Of me?" Alec asked. 

"Not in the way you mean. I'm--I've lost so many people, Alec," Magnus shifted in Alec's arms, because with those words if felt like the memorial inked onto his back for his fallen friends--a tree of life and the ravens to represent everyone he'd lost--prickled, "and I...even if _you_ don't get tired of me...even if you don't come to want to leave me..." 

"I'm not immortal, so I can't make that choice." Alec supplied, voice a little strangled. Magnus nodded into his shoulder. "You're trying to protect yourself." 

"Yes." 

"I love you, Magnus." Alec kissed just above his ear, sighing softly, "I would choose never to leave you. But if you want to protect yourself--" 

"It's far too late for that." Magnus interrupted, and now he could pull back enough to look into Alec's eyes, to see the desolation that knowing Magnus's fear had brought, and the tenderness and care Alec would give him, even if it meant breaking his own heart. "Which is where the part where I am an idiot comes into play." Magnus took Alec's hand in his tightly, holding it to his chest, and Alec leaned their foreheads together. His magic smoothed under his skin, ebbing and flowing to heal his headache and calm his stomach. That done, it culminated into the hand holding Alec's, prickling slightly to urge him to reach out and see what Alec needed to be healed, too. "Are you okay?" 

Alec let out a quiet sigh, pecking a kiss to Magnus's lips and nodding. "I thought a lot about what you said, about our relationship going too fast." Magnus's grip reflexively tightened, and Alec reached his free hand to gently curl around the back of his neck. "The story is, in Nephilim culture, that we only really love once; truly and fiercely. I have to admit, loving you has made me believe that. But you're right about this being...strange. Dangerous. I've been worried that...my issues have been putting too much pressure on us, on you: that even though you want to take care of me through it, it puts a _burden_ of taking care of me on your shoulders, when it should not be a burden only for you to bear. 

"So, I spoke to Adaline. She'll rent me a room in her place." Magnus clung to Alec, but Alec kept talking, in the calm and smooth tone he'd maintained through all of it, "You and I are going to keep going. But we're also going to figure out how we can make sure that we know we can have our own spaces, and not put the pressure of my problems into the mix when it comes to either of us needing our own space. Are you okay with that?" 

The blatant _sense_ of what Alec was proposing warred with the creeping dread that he had actually run Alec off; that it meant that Alec didn't actually want to be with him anymore. 

Magnus was quiet for too long, and Alec used the hand curved around the back of Magnus's neck to tip his head back and kiss him until he had to struggle to remember how to breathe. "I love you." Alec whispered against his lips, "You're the only person I've ever wanted, and I will never stop wanting you. When the time is right and we're ready for it, I'm coming back." 

The sure way Alec said it made Magnus break, unsure whether he was more laughing or crying. 

"I plan on asking you to marry me one day, Magnus." Alec murmured, brushing his lips over Magnus's, cupping both hands on Magnus's jaw now, keeping him right where Alec wanted him. "And when I do, I want to make damn sure that you know that you don't have to say yes because I'm broken without you." 

Magnus clutched at Alec's shoulders, Alec keeping him from shaking his head in the negative, keeping him from denying that that would ever cross his mind. "You aren't broken." 

Alec smirked slightly, and kissed Magnus's forehead. "Okay, then. Severely dented." 

Magnus went when Alec pulled him into another hug, the two of them breathing together for a long time. "I've...I've never been married."

"Oh. Is it something you don't want?" Alec tried very hard to keep disappointment out of his voice. 

Magnus pulled back from their hug to look at him, "I...I don't believe in 'to death do us part' when it comes to a marriage, and there's never been anyone else I wanted to spend forever with." 

Alec smiled, his kiss soft and leading. "I'm going to estimate my chances of getting you to say yes a little higher, then." 

~

Magnus opened the door to Alec's knock, a little confused, because they hadn't planned a date, leaving Magnus free to go to Pandemonium, which they'd talked about at lunch that afternoon. 

"Why are you knocking?" Magnus scoffed as he leaned in to kiss Alec hello. "Is everything okay?" 

Alec hadn't moved, eyes wide and mouth slightly open as he stared at Magnus. "Y-Yeah...You look...incredible, Magnus." 

A little confused, Magnus smiled at the compliment, but couldn't shake his concern. 

"I, uh. I came to give you this." Alec held up a small pink box, the logo for the Dandy-Lion flower shop stamped on the side. 

Magnus urged Alec inside before taking the box, giddy about seeing a new creation of Alec's. Inside, an exuberant burst of magenta petals greeted him, vibrant and lovely. 

"Zinnias are some of the longest-blooming flowers. They're meant to signify endurance...in this case, enduring affection." 

Taking a step forward, Alec went to reach for the bloom to secure it for Magnus, a tradition with every buttonhole that Alec had given him, but Magnus took a step closer, too, rocking up enough to kiss Alec on the lips again and letting the hunger for more kisses show in his eyes. "Something this pretty demands a change of outfit." 

Alec opened his mouth to protest, but Magnus was tugging him along by his jacket. 

Admittedly, the magenta would be a lovely compliment to Magnus's chosen outfit; the same way Alec had managed to make all of the buttonholes he made fit with what Magnus had chosen to wear. But Magnus didn't want his outfit complimented; he wanted the flower from the man that he loved to be the thing that stood out most. 

"As Isabelle so loves to tell me, I know nothing about fashion--" 

"Oh, but I need _you_ to make sure it's properly put on. If I do it, it might not be secure enough." Magnus teased, turning into Alec when they reached his bedroom. He pulled Alec into another kiss, hot and slow and leading enough to get a whine from Alec's throat the moment he broke away, "Have a seat." 

Alec sat on Magnus's bed as if he'd been hit over the head, looking dazedly happy. 

Magnus narrowed his eyes at Alec’s grin, prodding lightly at his cheek, "What, did you think I wouldn't like it or something?" 

"I am pretty much always a little worried about that." Alec admitted as if it were an easy thing, "But you seemed...tired at lunch? Like you were--not down, but I can't think of a better word for it. Now you're being both bossy and flirty and I am taking that as a good sign." 

Magnus hummed, setting the box carefully aside before he straddled Alec; the Nephilim instantly leaning back to give him room to settle comfortably before strong arms snaked around Magnus's hips to steady him. "I was having a long day." Magnus told him, playing with Alec's hair. "Lunch made it a little better. You doing this for me? That makes it feel like the rest of today never happened." 

Alec hummed, teasing Magnus into a kiss while he had him there. "Do you want to tell me what happened? Maia has told me that she's been tempted to call me over from time to time. Apparently my resting bitch face could frighten off the clients you don't want to take." 

The image sent Magnus into a fit of laughter, almost giggles, because it was easy to picture Alec staring down one of the stock brokers that often came in demanding the magic that Magnus's tattoo parlour was infamous for. Magnus never took a client he didn't want to help; but he had seen some of the people he had once helped come to turn into people who didn't deserve it. 

"Though her chief complaint was that you told her she wasn't allowed to scare them herself." 

"I never said that. I said that if I go out of business because people are too scared to book appointments, we would have problems." 

The private smile graced Alec's mouth, a teasing edge as he prodded Magnus in the thigh, "Go get changed. You have to go to your club and keep your mystique intact. And if I don't go back to Adaline's before she goes to bed, she's going tease me all day tomorrow about using my flower powers for evil in having seduced you on top of using them to try to woo you." 

"Flower powers, huh?" 

"She is a menace, you know this." 

Muffling his chuckles into their next kiss, Magnus seriously considered whether he'd be able to drag himself away. "Dance with me. One dance, to warm up with before I go." Magnus bartered. 

Alec's hands were huge and warm as they settled on Magnus's thighs, his smile like stepping into sunlight after a long winter. "One dance. I pick the song." 

"Deal." Magnus stole a kiss even as he climbed off of Alec's lap, his mind too stuck on wanting to kiss his boyfriend to for a moment focus on which outfit he ought to change into. 

Once faced with his wardrobe, the choice was easy, ultimately: black leather pants, black silk shirt, and black velvet jacket, the play of the textures instead of colours understated enough that Magnus knew the flower would stand out most. Magnus caught sight of himself in the mirror, and with the tiniest of nudges to his magic, dark magenta highlights appeared in his hair. 

Alec was not waiting for him on the end of his bed when Magnus emerged once again from his closet, but Magnus could trail the sounds of music to the living room. Alec turned to him, the brief flash of awe turning easily into the smile that was only for Magnus. "You're beautiful, Magnus." 

The faintly jazzy strains of the horns led easily into the crooning vocals of the singer, and Alec secured the buttonhole into place, trailing his hand from Magnus's chest to his neck and tipping Magnus into a kiss like he couldn't help it. 

When they broke apart, the magic of Magnus's loft flickered around them, and the song began again, sending Alec laughing into a press of lips to Magnus's cheek. 

They fell into position easily, the both of them still chuckling as Alec gracefully followed the melody, leading Magnus through sweeping steps. 

In Alec's arms, Magnus knew that he had chosen very incorrectly in buying himself more time with his boyfriend by asking him for a dance: leaving his arms was hard enough, but nothing was worse than the thought of leaving as Alec moved so easily through the steps that he could tease his thumb over the line of Magnus's jaw, and press stolen kisses to Magnus's throat as if they weren't still dancing. It was exhilarating, and somehow more erotic an act than Magnus had ever experienced before. 

Alec took Magnus's weight easily as he dipped him; the easy display of strength sending a thrill of want up Magnus's spine as the song came to a close. "An old friend always told me that a good waltz is slow and close, and the most likely dance to make you lose all reason." Magnus told Alec breathlessly, and delighted in Alec's chuckle before he led Magnus into a kiss that was not helping in the endeavor to return to reason. 

Knocking on the apartment door broke them apart, and Magnus was more than half-tempted to ignore it in favour of further kisses, but Alec was too polite for that. 

Magnus put an extra swing to his hips, and Alec snorted into a fit of giggles, thankfully staying put rather than letting this interruption become a cue to leave. 

Magnus opened the door, and only briefly glimpsed who it was on the other side before they were over the threshold, yanking him into a kiss. 

The snap of power that went through Magnus was not something that he could have even tried to control, and Camille Belcourt was blasted backwards into the hallway with it, smoking slightly as she impacted the opposite wall and collapsed to a heap on the floor. "Magnus!" Alec shouted, running to his side. 

Magnus flinched back from Alec when he reached for him, Magnus's magic still roiling under his skin, and with how out of control he felt, he could not stand to give Alec an object lesson of just why Magnus said he should be scared of him. "Don't--Be careful, Alec." 

Alec ignored him, reaching through the fire of Magnus's magic still curling around Magnus in his shame at losing control--the anger and shock that had triggered it all-but gone, and still his control was too shaky for Magnus to be able to pull the magic back. Magnus snapped his eyes to Alec, and there was no trace of fear or pain as he pulled Magnus into his arms heedless of the magic sparking over him in doing so, only now casting a glance at Camille where she lay unconscious. "You're okay. I've got you, Magnus." 

Still flinching even as Alec settled him into his embrace, Magnus's magic snapped to attention as if Alec's calm was all the order it needed, settling under Magnus's skin as if it could ever be called 'docile' after a display like that. 

"Who is she?" Alec asked softly. 

"Camille Belcourt. She..." Alec shushed him from explaining further. 

"Catarina told me about her. She's a vampire, so I know she'll heal. But are you okay? Did she hurt you?" 

"No--I don't know what happened. She--She kissed me, and my magic just _snapped_." Magnus's voice had Alec's arms tightening around him further. 

"Well, now I really don't want to bring her in here." Alec growled. Behind them, Catarina portalled into the loft, looking like she'd been well on her way to bed. 

"Where is that vile bitch?" Catarina demanded, striding towards them in a pair of baby-pink and white striped pajama pants, the glitter legend on her hot-pink shirt reading "Tres fatigue". Despite the outfit, she looked about ready to kill as she took in Magnus cradled in Alec's arms. 

"What?" Magnus knew that Alec's hands had remained on him rather than texting Catarina, and the confusion as to how the hell Catarina would know that Camille was there managed to overwrite the shame of losing control. 

"Once you and Alec got together, I added a ward to your door to alert me if that vicious slut ever showed her face." Catarina scoffed, as if that precaution against Camille's usual attempts to ruin Magnus's relationships went without saying. 

Alec was visibly more scared of Catarina than he apparently was of Magnus's loss of control, and Magnus wanted to laugh, but he also felt rather like crying. 

Catarina's phone beeped from a back pocket in her pajama pants, and her grin was downright bloodthirsty as she read the text, "Ragnor will be here in a moment with Raphael. Now where is she?" 

Alec indicated the unconscious lump in the hall, and pulled Magnus and he out of the way as Catarina strode towards her. "We're going to go make some tea." Alec told Magnus more than he was telling Catarina. "And warm some blood for Raphael." Catarina nodded her dismissal, and Alec went, not letting Magnus out of his arms even as they headed to the kitchen. 

Magnus watched as Alec prepared a separate cup of tea for Magnus than the pot he prepared for everyone else; giving Magnus the mixture of chamomile, lemon, and mint that Magnus had once pressed into Alec's hands. "I'm sorry, Alexander." Magnus finally managed to say, and when Alec turned to him with complete confusion on his face, Magnus wondered what the former Head of the New York Institute was thinking to not realize that there would be consequences to what Magnus had done. 

"What on earth are you sorry for, Magnus? She assaulted you, and your magic reacted to protect you." 

"Th-The Clave won't see it like that." 

"Why would the Clave find out?" 

"You mean if she doesn't tell them to get revenge on me? Because I lost control, Alexander--" 

Alec hummed as he raised a finger to Magnus's lips, the two of them leaning together against the kitchen counter, and when Alec wrapped strong arms around Magnus's waist, melting into the press of them was the only option Magnus had. "You didn't, though. Not in the way you mean." Magnus let a questioning noise slip, and Alec rested their foreheads together, grounding Magnus in a way that made it feel like his control _couldn't_ slip. "Your magic reacted to a threat, and that threat was the only thing that your magic affected. You were so focused on what happened to Camille that you didn't even realize you threw a shield up around me, did you?" 

"What? But she just--" 

"From where I was standing, it looked as though she tried to shove her tongue down your throat, without your prior knowledge or consent. I may be very biased, but that is as good as an act of violence, especially with what little Catarina told me about your relationship while giving me the mother of all shovel-talks." Alec caressed over his cheek and down the line of his throat. "And, as much as I would have liked to see Catarina be the one to kick her ass, because I have to assume _that_ would be something to see, seeing your magic protect you like that? Seeing it react to your will enough not only to protect you, but to protect me? That was something I didn't know I needed." 

Magnus pulled back enough to look Alec in the eyes, the gentle pride there shaking Magnus to his core. 

"I told you that you make me feel safe, Magnus." Alec pressed a kiss to Magnus's forehead, then each corner of his eyes, heedless of the glitter Magnus had half-forgotten he was wearing. "But I've always been a little bit afraid for you. And if Camille Belcourt tries to take what happened tonight to the Clave, the Clave is going to have a difficult time getting through me, the warlocks, the vampires, the weres, and both of the Lightwood women to get anywhere near you without all of us raising holy hell." 

Magnus clutched at Alec's sides, swallowing thickly. "But she knows how powerful I am--" 

"You destroyed a hell dimension because you found out a Greater Demon had made a spell that would allow him to kill warlocks to absorb their powers. The Clave is exceptionally stupid, but if they prove to be stupid enough to discount that, they deserve what they get from the rest of us." Alec stroked a thumb over Magnus's lips, the corner of his mouth pulled just barely up, "May I kiss you, or would you like to go the Listerine route to get the taste of...vile bitch out of your mouth?" The chuckle that it pulled from Alec to quote what Catarina had called Camille was too devious for the descendant of an angel, and Magnus urged him into a soft kiss. 

"Please tell me you aren't going to be afraid to kiss me now." 

"Well, I will think twice before trying to kiss you when you're mad at me, but so long as I still have your blanket permission any time else, I won't worry." 

~

For all of Alec's assurances--and then Raphael's, Catarina's, and both Isabelle and Maryse's, Magnus couldn't help but still be anxious about Camille and what retribution she would have planned. 

Weekly lunch with Maryse had become something of a tradition as soon as she'd made it clear that she'd accepted her son's need for distance from being a Shadowhunter, and though Alec had initially had Magnus there in large part because Alec had needed the support; Magnus had been there for every one of the lunches, expected to come and made very welcome by a woman who would have once happily hunted him down had the Clave caught wind of his past. 

Maryse beamed at Magnus as he headed towards her in the restaurant; Alec apparently running late, since he was nowhere to be seen. 

That Maryse's happiness to see him was not an act adopted for her son; that she pulled him into a tight hug and kissed his cheek, then gave a little wince before rubbing her lipstick from his skin, was like nothing Magnus had ever had before. They sat, and Maryse squeezed his hand, a look of concern clouding her happiness. "Are you doing okay, Magnus?" 

"Y-Yes, I'm fine. How are you?" 

"Right as rain, dear." Maryse waved the question away, not turning her attention from her careful appraisal of him, "Alec mentioned you were still feeling off, after what happened the other night." 

Magnus swallowed, somewhere between touched that Alec was talking about his worries for Magnus to his family, and a little annoyed that he was so easily read. "It's...been a concern." 

"Sweetheart, you don't have to worry about her. She won't be reappearing in your life for a very, very long time, if she ever does at all." 

"What?" 

"As of last night, she's been arrested for breaking the Accords, and any intel she intends to bargain with has been discredited, because one of her crimes against the Clave is feeding false information. She can tell them anything she wants to, she's been labelled and traitor and a liar, and marked not to be released." 

Magnus stared at Maryse, slack-jawed, and Alec's arrival a moment later was the only thing to snap him out of it. 

Once Maryse and Alec had exchanged their greetings, Alec sat beside Magnus, taking his hand and stealing a quick kiss before a look of concern almost identical to his mother's snapped into place. "What did I miss?" 

"I...uh. I told Magnus about what happened with Miss Belcourt." Maryse told Alec with a wince that, perhaps, she hadn't been meant to. 

"Oh, Izzy mentioned she had something up her sleeve. Did it finally go down?" 

"Without a hitch. Raphael turned her over without issue." 

Alec squeezed Magnus's hand, "Are you okay?" 

"I...yeah?" Magnus managed faintly, more than a little shocked that Camille, who could manipulate even the most stead-fast, had finally been run to ground. 

"The vampires she sired gave her up the moment Raphael and Izzy started asking about some of the...inconsistencies to some of the information she's provided the Clave in exchange for immunity to her past crimes." Maryse told him, covering the hand her son wasn't holding with her own. "It was more than enough to convince the rest of the Clave that she can't be trusted in any fashion, and her history with using encanto only drives that home all the harder." Maryse gave his hand a squeeze, her features a strange mix of gentle and strong as she offered him a small smile, "I will protect my children, Magnus. I've failed too often at that in the past, but I refuse to fail at it now. And for the way you protected Alec and Jace, have continued to stand by Alec, that includes you." 

They ordered lunch, and Maryse asked Alec about the wedding that he had been arranging flowers for; the mother of the groom trying to change the bride's order almost daily, and the bride herself changing colours even more than that. 

Lunch passed with laughter and stories from the Lightwoods, and when Maryse gave each of them a kiss to the forehead in farewell, Alec turned to Magnus once more, knowing that there were lingering fears in Magnus's mind, because Camille had been a presence in his life for centuries, and he could not fathom that now that he'd given her ample opportunity for it, she would somehow be stopped from bringing him truly low now. "She was running dens for feeding mundanes to vampires. That's how Simon got turned: he'd caught on to disappearances, and she caught him investigating. Izzy called me for advice on how to break that to him." Alec wrinkled his nose in distasteful confusion, and Magnus almost smiled. 

Simon's turning had always been a blank for the young man. His memories of the night he'd been turned had been taken, and when Magnus asked, he hadn't been sure he'd wanted them back. 

The crime of the dens alone would be enough to have her imprisoned; that she'd Turned Simon without his consent was worse. Magnus felt himself start to trust, just a little more, that the destructive and chaotic force that Camille had played in his life may finally have been run from it. 

"Oh, and bit of gossip?" Alec offered teasingly, chuckling as Magnus obligingly leaned in as if Alec would whisper it. "Simon's best friend, the redhead, Clary? Jace got dragged by Izzy to meet Simon at one of Clary's art shows, and Jace is now not only _very_ interested in art as a new hobby, but is downright dithering over asking her on a date." 

"Jace? Our Jace? Is _dithering_?" Alec was laughing at the incredulous squawk of Magnus's voice, and Magnus found himself grinning in return. "I have got to see this. What are the chances he still won't have made a move by dinner on Tuesday?" 

"Considering it's been a week? Pretty good." 

"Your brother has been a lovesick fool for a week and you didn't tell me?! I am betrayed, Alexander. Hurt and betrayed." 

"To be fair, he was not the one that spilled the beans. He was spacey during our workout this week, but he's also trying to decide what college classes to take, so I just wrote it off." 

"Oh my god, who tipped you off?" Magnus knew Alec well enough to know that Alec would have told him already if it were not also something Magnus would not believe. 

"Simon! Simon is more aware of Jace's mooning than I am! Granted, it was more likely Izzy that noticed first and figured I already knew. But Simon came to the shop this morning to ask me if I could teach him to play intimidating older brother, because I'd done such a good job of nearly running him off." 

Magnus could picture Alec's reaction to that, and had to bury his face in Alec's shoulder, shaking with laughter. "Oh my god." 

"Uh-huh." Alec's lips pressed to his hair, and Magnus took the opportunity, with his face hidden, to let himself bask, even if only for a moment, in the love of Alexander Lightwood, and the love of Alec's family, the anxiety over Camille and his consequences finally leaving him entirely. 

"May I walk you back to the Lion?" Magnus offered when he straightened, his hand falling into Alec's as if gravitationally drawn. 

"Adaline would be happy to see you. Apparently I've been in too foul a mood to deal with, and I need you to mellow me out." 

Magnus squinted at him, "She's just as pissed off about the wedding fiasco as you are." 

"Oh, she's more pissed off about it than I am, I'd say. And with fairly good reason; the second the mother of the groom found out that I'm not the owner of the shop, she stopped talking to _me_." 

"That is evil! Alexander, did you purposefully let that slip to the harridan?!" 

"Hey, I am still the one handling the bride's texts and emails. Would you care to place a bet on how many will be waiting for me in the thirty minutes that we have been at lunch?" 

Magnus wrinkled his nose. "No. There is a reason I stopped offering my services drawing the henna for weddings." 

Alec gave an overwrought sigh, "Please tell me that there are actually good weddings somewhere out there, so I have some hope that we will actually make it to ours." 

Magnus knew that one could not fight off a blush, but he gave it his best shot at the casual reminder that Alec intended, one day, to ask him to marry. "I have heard of such things. I think the main key is to make sure that all parties involved are on the same page; so, you're gonna have to clear asking me to marry you with Izzy, Jace, Maryse, Catarina, Ragnor, Madzie..." 

Alec laughed, "You say that like they do not have a running bet going on _when_." 

"What?" Magnus gasped, stopping dead and turning to Alec. 

"Jace slid me the spreadsheet Simon made on whose money is on what timeframe to try to skew the results his way. In..." Alec looked at his phone to check the time and date, "Four days and seven hours, Dot will have lost out twenty bucks." 

Magnus burst into a fit of giggles. "How long does it take before all of them lose?" 

"Six years. Which, If I'm being entirely honest, I highly doubt I will be able to wait that long." 

Magnus bit back telling Alec he'd marry him tomorrow if he asked him to, or wait until Alec was old and grey; anything to keep him. "What was Dot thinking?!" 

"Mm, Dot claims that she made the bet with Maia after you and I first met, expecting that we had already started dating. She's been trying to discount it from the list since she made it with only Maia, not all of them, but she has also been dropping me hints on what your ring size is." 

Magnus fell into another bout of laughter. "Oh? Any contenders?" 

Alec blushed slightly, looking down at Magnus's hands and the rings and jewelry already adorning them. "Ragnor warned me that you have very discerning tastes, and I should choose very wisely." 

Magnus narrowed his eyes: Ragnor and Alec had only met the night Camille had reappeared in his life, but he had gone with Catarina to learn what, exactly, she had done to his doorway, and that had effectively left Alec in Ragnor and Raphael's clutches. 

"When is Ragnor?" 

"I'd have to double-check, but I think two years? Adaline is the one at six, because she figured that with my intimate knowledge of wedding prep, it would take you that long to convince me a ceremony was worth it when we're already pretty much married anyway." 

Magnus grinned, "I like that. Is the bet limited by who asks whom?" 

"Not that anyone has been willing to admit to me." 

"And you knowing about the bet does not immediately discount it?" 

"No. Jace is of the opinion I love him too much to let him lose; Mom doesn't care, but is of the opinion I work best with deadlines; Izzy is treating it as a challenge to get me to patiently wait it out, but she had not taken into consideration that Adaline bet six years before agreeing to keeping the bet going anyway." 

Magnus leaned into Alec's side, laughing, as they pushed into the Lion. Behind the counter, Adaline looked like she was about to kill a man with her bare hands and enjoy every second of it, and Magnus's grip on Alec's hand tightened in reflexive, hind-brain fear. 

"She called again." Alec deduced. 

"Worse." Adaline growled. "Hello, Magnus." 

"Hello, sugarplum. I was told you would be pleased to see me." 

Adaline huffed a deep breath, then seemed to consciously try to melt her disposition. "Sorry. But she's coming _here_ to speak with me now, because apparently despite the fact that the bride has already paid for us, she thinks that it was her money we took, so it should be her opinion we follow." 

Alec let out a groan that managed to be so articulate in his complete hatred of this idea that Magnus could not stop himself from giggling at it. 

"What happened to your resting bitch face scaring the customers away?" Magnus asked teasingly, but now neither of the Lion's staff were in any state to be teased into laughter. Alec gave his hand a squeeze in thanks for trying anyway, though. 

"When does the firing squad arrive?" Alec sighed. 

"You have ten new messages in the inbox, and I have not opened the inbox to even see who they're from. And she comes in...twelve minutes." 

Alec used his grip on Magnus's hand to pull him into a kiss. "Thank you for walking me back to work." 

Magnus wrinkled his nose in the sympathetic wish that he hadn't, "Sugarplum, Alec won't be coming home tonight. I'm making him dinner, and drawing him a bath, and doing my utmost to get him at least a little buzzed." 

Adaline let out a shrill of indignation, "Forget him, date me!" 

Alec smiled, kissing Magnus once more before resolutely walking to stand beside Adaline at the counter: the juxtaposition of the tiny, nearly sixty-year-old redhead standing beside the tall, broad-shouldered and battle-worn twenty-three year old like something out of a children's story. 

"Sorry, sugarplum, but he seduced me with flowers." 

"I could seduce you with flowers!" 

"You are not interested in seducing anyone. You just want me for my bathtub, booze, and cooking." 

"Oh but can you really blame a girl?!" 

~

Magnus's face hurt with how long and how widely he'd been smiling, but he could not for the life of him stop. 

The music was soaring and grand, Alec sweeping Madzie around in a dizzying dance, her screaming laughter filling the loft. Magnus had a kernel of regret that he wasn't filming this to send to Catarina, but there was nothing in the world that would make him leave them to get his phone from his bedroom. "Oh, my goodness, sweet pea!" Magnus laughed, catching Madzie's flower crown as it came tumbling off her head when Alec "dipped" her. His magic surged under his hand as it connected with the chain of flowers, pushing into the petals to preserve them and protect her whenever she wore them; the reflexive bit of magic something Magnus was slowly becoming used to as Alec encouraged him to stop hiding, and to use his powers when he wanted to. 

"Dance with us, Magnus!" Madzie ordered, breathless between her giggles. 

Before he could reply, the stove in the kitchen beeped that its pre-heat was completed, and Alec and Madzie stopped dead, looking at each other with wide, excited eyes. "Cookies!" They cried together, Alec not bothering to put the little girl on the ground, running for the kitchen and skidding across the tile floors in his socks, to Madzie's shriek of delight. 

"We cannot have cookies for dinner, you two." Magnus couldn't help laughing through the scolding, and Alec and Madzie peeked around the doorframe of the kitchen, turning on overwrought pouts. 

"Dessert, then dinner, then dessert!" Madzie decided, twisting to look up at Alec, and his delighted laugh made Magnus _melt_. 

"Can I get a _hint_ at what flavour of cookies you're making?" 

"No!" Madzie and Alec protested in unison as they returned from their mission, Madzie flinging herself onto the couch beside Magnus and Alec ducking in to kiss his cheek. 

"Why am I being banned from all the fun things?" Magnus complained. 

Alec gave him a look, sitting on the other end of the couch so that Madzie was dramatically sprawled between them. "Oh, you've had fun all day, Magnus. It was my turn!" Alec protested. 

Madzie smiled brightly at Alec; and Magnus felt his heart give a little twist with how thankful he was that he had stumbled into the Dandy-Lion and found a Nephilim whose heart was so open that he broke down even Magnus's walls. 

"So, while we wait...why don't we find a book for us to read together?" Madzie beamed at Alec's suggestion, overjoyed at that prospect, and Magnus had to restrain himself from pulling Alec into a kiss right then and there. 

"What are you in the mood for, Mads? Something...scary?" Madzie giggled at Alec's dramatic drawl of the word as much as she did the fingers tickling over her sides with it, but shook her head. "What about something...adventurous?" 

Madzie lit up, "Yeah!" 

"Yeah? C'mon!" Alec leapt to his feet, Madzie leaping with him and tugging Magnus along. Magnus's brow furrowed as Alec led them down the hall towards Magnus's library. Magnus didn't have much of a selection that would appeal to a little girl, and was about to remind Alec of that, when Alec conducted them towards one of the corners Magnus rarely used. Magnus stumbled slightly, shooting Alec a look as he caught sight of the bottom two shelves, populated by brightly-coloured books that had not been there the last time Magnus had wandered to this part of his collection. 

Magnus tilted his head at Alec, and was met with a smile as Madzie let out a cry and excitedly leapt at the small collection. Alec shrugged, "I started picking up books just before Madzie went to live with Catarina. I figured she might be a bit of fixture here, and the shelves were open when I was packing my stuff to move to Adaline's. Sorry, I should have ask--" 

"No, that's...this is perfect, Alexander. Thank you." Magnus murmured, drawing in close, but not daring to touch Alec. He wanted to, badly, but he knew that if he gave into temptation, he'd be liable to get carried away. 

Magnus had never thought of children of his own; he made do with the Downworlders he helped, and knew that he wouldn't get much more than that. But watching Alec with Madzie, Magnus couldn't help but picture Alec as a father, and actually wonder what it would be like, raising a family with him. 

He didn't know if that would be something Alec wanted; but between the way he loved and protected his siblings, and the way he doted on Madzie, Magnus had a suspicion that wanting children would be in the cards for Alec. 

~

As much as physical activity had helped Alec, Magnus couldn't help but feel that there was much more that could and should be done. 

The call from Adaline cut through the din of Pandemonium as if someone had just pressed 'mute', and Magnus opened a portal to her place without bothering to accept the call. 

Adaline startled slightly at his sudden arrival, but Magnus was less concerned with that than he was with the noise coming from the bedroom he knew to be Alec's. 

"I heard glass breaking, but the door is locked, and I can't find the key." Adaline was crying, as scared as Magnus had ever seen her, and curled into herself in the shame of not being able to find something she hadn't expected she'd need. 

"It's okay. I don't need a key." Magnus told her softly. He knew Alec was alone in the bedroom; knew that it wasn't an attack of the body, but an attack of the mind that had him moaning in pain and shouting for help. His magic flooded from him, through the door, and Alec gave a strangled cry, then all Magnus could hear was the shaky breathing of tears. Magnus's magic poured into Alec, healing him, blanketing him, and when they hadn't heard movement from Alec for as much time as Magnus could stand, he portalled directly into the bedroom with him. 

"Magnus," Alec breathed, eyes open but hazy, his hands streaked with blood from a piece of a broken glass of water. The water that had been in it on pooled on the hardwood floor, mixed with Alec's blood from where he'd stepped into the shards, and Magnus cleaned all of it up with a wave of his hand, crouching where he was across the room from Alec, just as Alec had told him to do when his nightmares got a little too real. 

"Hello, darling." Magnus murmured. Alec broke down at the sound of his voice, and Magnus wanted to go over to him, to comfort him, but knew that until Alec said it was okay, it would not help with Alec in this state. "May I come over there, Alexander?" 

Alec nodded, his face a mask of agony as he reached for Magnus, and Magnus tucked him into his arms, gentling noises falling from his throat. "I'm sorry," Alec's voice was barely audible, a litany of the same words over and over, and Magnus knew better than to tell him that there was nothing to be sorry for, not when Alec wasn't really hearing him; wasn't fully there. 

The bed was not bloodied, thankfully, but it looked as though Alec had struggled to get out from under the bedclothes. Magnus didn't want to put Alec back onto the bed--not this bed, anyway. He wanted to curl up with Alec in his bed, in golden sheets, and let the wards of his home settle his nerves at the fear of Alexander being under any sort of attack. "I love you, Alexander." Magnus began a litany of his own, pressing his lips to Alec's forehead, his temple, anywhere Magnus could reach as he drowned out the apologies falling from Alec's mouth. 

Once Alec had stopped shaking in his arms, Magnus unlocked the door, unsurprised to see that Adaline hadn't moved, despite the time that had passed. 

"We're okay." Magnus assured her, and Adaline swiped away her tears of relief, making a visible effort to hold herself back from offering comfort of her own. 

Adaline cleared her throat after a moment, straightening her shoulders. Magnus hadn't known her before he'd stumbled into the Lion, and couldn't know if she had picked up that mannerism from the man in his arms, but he couldn't shake the thought that she had, it was so like Alec. "We made it through that shit-show of a wedding. I think we deserve a day or two off." 

A smile touched Magnus's lips, and he nodded his thanks. Adaline's gaze lingered on Alec a moment longer, the care and want to help written in bold, stark letters on her face, but she turned back for her own bedroom, and Magnus let out a slow breath. 

"Let me take you home?" Magnus asked, sounding more desperate than he wanted, and Alec nodded into his shoulder, long fingers clinging to his jacket. Magnus opened a portal, and with a small flex of his magic, he picked Alec up into his arms and carried him through it. 

Alec's concerned expression was somewhat priceless as Magnus stepped into his bedroom, the worry that Alec weighed more than Magnus did overwriting everything else, even with the tiny bit of magic Magnus knew Alec could feel helping things along. 

Under normal circumstances, Magnus would have been able to lift Alec, and Alec academically knew this; Magnus had worked out with he and Jace enough that it had been made clear Magnus did not need the sheer amount of power he had in order to be dangerous. But to see it was something else entirely. 

"I'm sorry." Alec murmured again when Magnus laid him on his bed. Now Alec was fully with him, he knew; not straddling the line between the nightmare and waking. 

"Alexander," Magnus purred, catching Alec's chin in his fingers to stop his boyfriend from looking away, "I will, quite happily, list all of the reasons why you have nothing to be sorry for, but you're exhausted, and--" 

Alec's hand on his bicep, eyes flaring in fear, was enough to stop Magnus short. "I...I don't want to fall asleep again. Please don't let me--" 

Magnus kissed the plea from Alec's lips, his magic cresting in a wave over Alec as he did, and Alec shuddered in his arms, gasping. 

"I...I don't want to fall asleep and hurt you, Magnus." 

Magnus hummed, "Alexander, just like you're not scared of me, I am not scared of you. And I am not telling you that I don't believe you could hurt me simply because of how you love me, my darling. I know that you can't hurt me, because my magic won't let you." Any warlock who came within ten feet of Alec could feel Magnus's magic on him, the tightly woven cling of it more power than most warlocks could summon in a day, and Magnus knew that that power never faded from around him. To hurt Alec was to declare war on the King and destroyer of Edom, and Magnus may not have had the answers as to just how this magic he'd wrapped Alec in didn't seem to even remotely tap into the well of power within him, but he did know, in his very bones, that his magic wouldn't let Alec hurt him, for the simple reason of what it would do to Alec to have hurt him. 

The personal demons devouring Alec weren't anything new, but Magnus had yet to find a sliver of magic that could help him drive those out, too. He wanted to. Seeing Alec, tear-streaked and pale, he _ached_ to have a fix for it, at any cost. But for as much as Magnus's magic could protect Alec when it came to hurt bourn from another, Magnus had yet to find a way to protect him fully from himself. 

"My magic wouldn't let you hurt anyone you love, sweetheart." Magnus pressed his lips to Alec's temple, fingers petting through Alec's hair. Alec nodded slowly, closing his eyes and going lax against the pillows Magnus had laid him on, and Magnus banished his clothes down to the boxers, makeup removed. 

Alec flinched slightly and opened his eyes, the furrow between his brows growing again, along with the downward curve of his frown, "You were at Pandemonium?" 

"I was." Magnus confirmed, "Dot canceled on me for happy hour, and I had an original Alexander Lightwood creation still to show off." 

The zinnia appeared from where Magnus had banished it to his growing collection of buttonholes onto the bedside table closest to them. "Wow. I'm shocked that we didn't end up squishing it that night. You preserve them, I know, but..." Alec trailed off, his fingers reaching out to touch the petals softly. 

Magnus smiled, shifting to climb over Alec and settle directly behind him, pressing his back to Magnus's chest and wrapping his arm securely around him as he pressed kisses into the bare skin of Alec's shoulder. "I...may have gone a bit overboard in preserving all of them." Magnus admitted. "And all the flower crowns you've made for Madzie, too." 

Somehow, it was Alec that was blushing at that admittance, not Magnus, and Magnus immediately loved him even more. "You don't have to--" 

"Oh yes, I do." Magnus purred, kissing the back of Alec's neck. "I love each and every one of them. And, the way I see it..." Magnus took a deep breath, half-steeling himself for the truth behind it, "it's your way of staking your claim, even if you can't be there with me. You have no idea what the idea of that does to me, Alexander." 

Alec shuddered slightly, his ears starting to go red, too. "I...You may be right about that." He confessed, and Magnus giggled in delight. 

"Good. I like it." Magnus reminded, squeezing Alec tighter for a moment. 

Alec was asleep before much longer, and Magnus breathed him in, the warmth of him in Magnus's arms something that Magnus did not want to ever let go of. Their relationship was not quite a year old, and though Magnus knew the very compelling reasons Alec had laid out for him in moving out only six months ago, Magnus wanted Alec back, properly moved in with him; because when Magnus was there with him, it felt like nothing could ever hurt him again. 

The scar tissue on Alec's back and legs Magnus had managed to heal enough that it no longer hurt Alec to move, but it was beyond him to heal them away completely; his magic not made for healing. Alec still chose his clothes to hide his runes in public; and Magnus had his concerns about Alec's feelings about them--about how Alec had flinched when Magnus had pressed his lips to the deflect rune on his throat for the first time, as if scared that Magnus could somehow hate him for the culture he had been born into, and had nearly lost his life in trying to change. Magnus knew that, as much as his runes, Alec hated his scars, hated letting Magnus see them. It was a long-held intention of Magnus's, to manage to kiss every inch of Alexander Lightwood one night, just to press it home how very much Magnus loved and cherished him. 

As Alec settled into sleep far enough for his tiny snores to start, Magnus smiled, promising himself that he would keep Alec for as long as he possibly could.

**Author's Note:**

> The song Alec chooses is [loyal - Jasmine Thompson](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mWdaflb6DI).


End file.
